The Nerdiest Post I Shall Ever Write

More than half the year has gone by, and my annual bucket list goals are far from where they should be. We’ve had much happen this year, very good and very bad, and while some of those life occurrences could be why I haven’t invested in my goals, that would be mostly a lie. But guys, different roads sometimes lead to the same castle.

And while most men would rather die a hard truth than face it, in truth, I’ve been deeply invested in a whole other world…or should I say, realm. In fact, this post will contain many easter eggs for my good friends who are already in the know.

In April 2017, I decided to re-read the entire A Song of Ice and Fire series (better known as Game of Thrones for the plebs). It would be a great undertaking, and I didn’t want to rush through, but take my time and enjoy my very own trip down the King’s Road. And while I have zero expectation for the final books to ever be published (no hard feelings, GRRM!), I wanted to be truly refreshed for the final season on HBO next year, for minds are like swords; the old ones go to rust.

Little did I know just how deep this pastime would become; my poor friend, Kerrie, was subject to daily texts of questions, theories, and gifs. We even decided to write down predictions for the end of the show and bury them in a time capsule (read about it here: Bury a Time Capsule). But how naive I was to bury my predictions when I was midway through book three! There were still thousands of pages I had yet to dissect.

Over spring break, I decided to start rewatching the HBO series while finishing the last book concurrently. It made our very long flights to Europe highly entertaining, and while I was incredibly nit-picky when the show first came out (“That didn’t happen in the books!”), I found a new joy from analyzing quotes and symbolism in the show, furthering my predictions.

But that’s not it, oh-no. While reading the books and watching the show, I also decided to listen to the concurrent podcast episodes of BingeMode.

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At times, I spent time on Reddit, confirming my theories for characters, storylines, or just digging into the vast history of Westeros. Many times I heard the words, “You’re in too deep,” from both my husband, Thor, and Kerrie. Is madness so far from wisdom? After all, don’t people read the Bible over and over and over again? Dissecting stories? Looking for something between the lines? A mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge.

This week, I completed my journey. I read more than 4,200 pages, watched 70 hours of the show, and listened to 70 hours of the podcast. My resume is such that I’m ready to head to the Citadel and transcribe ancient scrolls. The great thing about reading is that it broadens your life.

At this point, I would venture to say that I know more about ASOIAF than anyone I know personally (sans Kerrie, who has also done her homework) and it’s my own special world with special (internet) friends. Summer friends will melt away like summer snows, but winter friends are friends forever.

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But what will I do will all this free time, now that I am done? This question has been creeping for the last month.

Lucky for me, there are still many excerpts and readings from the next book, The Winds of Winter, that are out there on the inter web. *SPOILER ALERT* that book is never going to get published. My theory? Fans got viscious (really – GRRM got death threats) and he threw in the towel to work on other projects. Maybe Misery was on cable one weekend and he got scared that someone was going to hobble him and force him to rewrite The Red Wedding in a snowy cabin.

But guys, having parsed over every word of the books – I’m telling you, it’s all in there. You just have to look.

I won’t tell you my theory about Tyrion’s real parentage. I won’t tell you my theory about Arya’s ending. I won’t tell you my theory about Brienne and Jaime. Ok yes, I will. They are so going to seal the deal. (But trust me, there’s more).

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Something tells me I’m not really finished, that there’s more work to do. But as the main feat is over, I can look back to completing some items from my bucket list  (which is the real purpose of this post LOL). Be on the lookout about my new Peloton bike, an upcoming trip to Portugal, and a moonlit hike.

Until then, night gathers and my watch begins; it shall not end until my death.

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2 thoughts on “The Nerdiest Post I Shall Ever Write

  1. If I bring a bottle of Arbor Gold can you spend a couple hours breaking this down for me because I have no clue how GRRM is going to unwind this magnificent ball of yarn?

    If you ever decide to organize a watch party or book club, sign me up.

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