First off, you can blame this entire idea on Thrillist. They had an article about the 20 best things to do in Portland and all but one were alcohol-based. Sure, we have a lot of breweries – does that mean that is the only thing to do here? What about people who don’t drink? Or people who are above the age of 30 and don’t want to crawl from bar-to-bar getting less and less coherent?
Hence, my genius idea: A Pizza Crawl.
I looked at a map and Yelp reviews of pizza joints downtown, made a map*, and invited several friends. What could go wrong?
On Saturday we met up at the first stop (Sizzle Pie) and began gluttonous our trek across the city. The idea was to just eat a slice at every stop – and with walks in between, all that eating would be spaced out. At first there was a lot of excitement – we were going to eat a lot of pizza! But as the night progressed, the carbohydrate induced lethargy hit, and we realized we were going to eat a lot of pizza…
But not without the merit of data collection. What’s the point of crawling across the city if you can’t rate all the places you go? So I also made an interactive Google Form:
At every pizza stop, we did our best to rate the pizza in several areas – and thus I have compiled the results here. (See? Assessment CAN be fun).
First Category – Overall Pizza Cheesiness
Rovente was our obvious winner for pizza cheesiness, and I concur. The loser? Pieology. Where was the cheese?!
Second Category – Pizza Crust
Once again, Rovente was our winner. Since everyone has a different opinion on their preferred thickness of crust, I don’t know that there was a specific loser…but there sure was a lot of “meh” happening.
Third Category – Pizza Flavor
Hmmmm our winner? Rovente. The loser? Lonesome’s. It’s like they dumped a can of Hunt’s tomato sauce on the pizza with zero seasoning.
Fourth Category – Overall Menu
This one was close – with Rovente earning the top spot for “Great!” but Olde Town wasn’t far behind with solid “Good” rating. Lonesome’s earned another loser on this one, mostly because they had very little variety.
We also rated restaurants on their good seating and good service, where both Rovente and Olde Town Pizza tied.
The bottom spot goes to Lonesome’s where we had to stand on a busy street corner that smelled like an outhouse.
In the end, I don’t think we will be eating pizza again anytime soon. Perhaps the next “crawl” will need to be a “Salad Crawl” or a “Coffee Crawl” or something else less likely to give everyone a pizza hangover.
*Verona was closed when we walked by, so they missed their chance to be a part of our amazing pizza experience.