If I was guy, I’m pretty sure I would look like this:
And I’m pretty sure I would spend my days like this:
You think I’m joking, but I’m not.
But alas, I was born a chick. I hear you saying, “Why do you have to be a boy to be a super fly breakdancer?” And you’re right, you don’t – but as a female it just isn’t my calling. (Instead, I guess I’m chasing a Martha Stewart meets Lady Gaga kind of lifestyle.)
ANYWAY, that doesn’t mean I can fully enjoy the aesthetic of hip hop and bboy style, or be fully entertained by an epic dance battle where dudes contort their bodies and spin on their heads. At the lunch table, I constantly hear teachers talking about football or basketball or any other jock-type sport where the dudes are overpaid and over idolized. Now breakdancing – that’s where you’ll find athleticism at it’s finest…and you don’t have to listen to Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” every time they take a time out.
But as a 34 year old white lady teacher, I don’t exactly cross paths with a lot of dancers or their events. In fact, I have even actively searched for dance battles in Portland and repeatedly come up dry.
But now that I’ve made it an official 2015 goal to attend a legit breakdancing competition (where I might possibly have to travel to get there), I’ve signed up for several listservs and Facebook groups that post national events – and guess what! There’s one in Portland at the end of the month!
It’s ok – you can call me out as a total poser; I know. And you know what? I also like Chris Brown. But at this point, who cares?