It’s been four days since I accepted my new job and DAMN do I feel like a new person. On Monday, we had a really heated staff meeting and while normally I would be chowing down on snacks and enjoying the show, I felt compelled to step out during the middle of it all. I had a horrible, sinking feeling that I would be returning for yet another year of agony.
However, the next morning is when I accepted my new position. While I have a LOT of work ahead of me (packing, moving, meeting new people), I have renewed hope that life won’t totally suck next year. This was especially evident to me when I had a pretty negative interaction with my current (soon to be former) boss this afternoon. It’s lasted maybe two minutes, but instead of feeling like a caged prisoner (as I have felt the last two years), I was able to quickly shrug it off. Immediately I said to myself, “You made a decision to leave, and you closed the deal. The power has shifted.”
Granted, this is an emotional time of year and people are venting like crazy, but it feels like so many of the people I work with are fed up, frustrated, or completely demoralized. Yet, they didn’t apply for any positions and there is no indication that the leadership at our school will change anytime soon. The war will simply continue…and I don’t want to be a casualty.
For me, personally, when I really want something, I will make it happen. I plan. I talk. I research. I imagine. I plan more. I am meant for more, I just don’t yet know what “more” is. But while I try to figure that out, I’m going to move in the direction that feels right.